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Sunday, 18 June 2017

Unrealistic Expectations In Marriage

Phantoms are an unattainable standard by which we measure our performances, abilities, looks and characters, and they can derail marriages.
During World War II the American forces in France had a phantom military outfit -- a group called the 23rd Headquarters Special Troops.
With careful staging and show-business theatrics, they impersonated real troops and created an illusion of military strength to strategically fool the Germans.
To mask the true location of their real troops, for example, they created fake tanks and other equipment that looked real from the air.

Battling Imaginary Phantoms

Many husbands and wives have such phantoms lurking in their minds -- unreal mental images that they think they need to battle.
No one else can see the phantoms except the individuals who conjure them up, but they seem real nevertheless.
Phantoms are an unattainable standard by which we measure our performances, abilities, looks and characters.
While there's nothing wrong with having a goal to aim for, a phantom by definition is an illusion, an apparition or a resemblance of reality.
Within your mind you have a picture of how you should act as a husband or wife, father or mother. And chances are this image is so perfect, so idyllic, that it is completely unattainable.
Yet, every day you judge your performance by this phantom! And since you cannot match those standards, your self-esteem suffers.

Struggling Daily with Phantoms

The more distant your phantoms are from reality, the more frustrating it is to live in their shadows -- and the more confusing it can be for the spouse who can't see the apparition and is left wondering why his or her mate seems dissatisfied and unhappy. Phantoms can derail marriages.
My wife, Barbara, sat down one day and described her phantom -- what she felt she was expected to be as a wife and mother. Here is a portion of what she wrote:

She is always loving, patient, understanding and kind.
She is well-organized, with a perfect balance being disciplined and flexible.
Her house is always neat and well-decorated, and her children obey the first time, every time.
She is serious yet lighthearted, submissive but passive. She is energetic and never tired.
She looks fresh and attractive at all times, whether in jeans and a sweater digging in the garden or in a silk dress and heels going to dinner.
She never gets sick, lonely or discouraged.
She walks with God daily, prays regularly, studies the Bible diligently, and is not fearful or inhibited about telling others about her faith.
She "prays without ceasing." She prays over flat tires, lost keys and lost teddy bears.
She "gives thanks" when her husband is late for dinner.

Remember that phantoms are illusions. Only we don't recognize them as such.
Again, having such goals may spur you to doing better and being better.
But when they become illusory expectations, you become insecure and wonder if your mate accepts "the real you." You may feel like a loser when your mate may actually consider you a winner.
My own phantom is just as lofty and unattainable as Barbara's:

He rises early, reads the Bible and prays, then jogs several seven-minute miles.
After breakfast with his family, he presents a 15-minute devotional.
Never forgetting to hug and kiss his wife goodbye, he arrives at work 10 minutes early.
He is consistently patient with co-workers, always content with his job.
His desk is never cluttered, and he is confidently in control.
He arrives home on time every day and never turns down his kids when they want to play.
He is well-read in world events, politics and important social issues.
He never gets discouraged, never wants to quit and always has the right words for any circumstances.
He constantly plans romantic outings for his wife and himself.
He can quote large sections of Scripture in a single bound, has faith more powerful than a locomotive, and is faster than a speeding bullet when solving family conflicts.

Ultimately these phantoms put us under a crushing pile of guilt. And here's where the marriage relationship can really help. Sit down with your mate and spend some time describing your own phantoms.
Ask your mate where these expectations came from. Talk about which of these expectations are realistic and which are not. Slay the phantoms that lurk within.

How to slay the Phantom

Do you have unrealistic expectations of yourself?
Are you aware of your mate having such a "phantom"?
What's the difference between healthy goals for personal growth and an illusion or unattainable self-image?
Sit down and write out your personal version of the "phantom." Share this with your spouse.
Now make up a new list of goals for yourself. Make them realistic and attainable, then evaluate them with your mate.

10 Things to Do While You're Single

Contrary to what some people think, being single is not a curse.
The time you spend single – which may be a temporary life stage, or could be your whole life – is actually a gift, if you treat it as such. It gives you the opportunity to do some things that would become more difficult after marriage, and properly prepare for marriage – if that is your goal.
So how do you get the most out of your singleness?

Use time wisely.
You’ll never have more free time than you do right now, as a single person. If you’re tired of hearing that over and over from married people, it’s because it’s true. They’re all speaking from experience. So how will you use this time? (1 Timothy 4:12)
Go somewhere difficult.
You can always travel, but you can’t always travel anywhere. Marriage, kids, and even older age can make many trips more difficult and complicated. But right now, you can travel pretty much anywhere that your car or an airline will take you. So see the world. Go somewhere that needs Jesus and share Him there. (Romans 10:15)
Work to learn, not just to earn.
Having things like a family and a mortgage do cost money, requiring a reliable income and somewhat limiting your job options. If you’re single and relatively young, you can prepare for that now by learning the skills you’ll need to get the job you really want. Look for a job that will actually pay you to learn those skills – it may not pay much, but that’s OK, because you only have one mouth to feed. (Proverbs 22:29)
Get to know the Bible.
Continuing on the “learning” topic, the best time to learn your Bible is now. Again, you’ll never have more time to study, and you’ll never have more years to benefit from learning it and putting it into practice. There’s no better “skill” to learn than to know how to navigate and utilize the Word of God. You’ll learn who God is and what He desires for you, and be able to give Godly counsel to others when they are in need. (2 Timothy 3:16)
Pursue purity.
One of the greatest gifts you can give your future spouse is to limit the amount of baggage and bad habits you bring into the marriage. And there is no better time than now to learn how to be faithful in a relationship. If you practice blindly following your sexual urges, you’ll develop the habit of always following your sexual urges – even if they lead you outside your future marriage. (1 Corinthians 6:18)
Pray for your future spouse.
Pray how? Well, you can start by praying this list for them. Pray that they would be using their singleness well and preparing for marriage. Pray that they would know God and walk faithfully with Him. Pray that you both would trust His timing and not get derailed by “shortcuts.” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)
Join a church and serve there.
This seems like a no-brainer, but I had to put it in the list because for some crazy reason singles seem slow to join and get involved at a church. I don’t get it. If you’re a Christian and part of the body of Christ, you’re not meant to live outside the body – it would be like your pancreas trying to survive outside your own body. God made you to be alive in His church. So find some imperfect church that teaches the Bible and join there. Come under the elders’ authority. Serve and give there. Share your talents there so that you might experience life as it was given to you to experience. (Hebrews 10:24-25)
Get a roommate.
Nothing will prepare you for marriage better than having a really dysfunctional roommate. I’m serious. Some single people say “I like living by myself.” Well, then you are going to HATE marriage. I’d practice living with roommates now. Work through conflict with them. Practice communicating well with them. (In case you think I am talking about someone of the opposite sex: I am not. Read this.) (Proverbs 27:17)
Build healthy habits.
Taking care of your body gets more and more difficult. At some point in life your metabolism slams on the brakes, but your eating habits and exercise habits continue as before. So train them well now. Scripture says your body is a temple. It doesn’t need to be a chiseled temple that you stare at in the mirror, but it should remain a healthy temple. (1 Corinthians 6:19-20)
Look for a spouse.
Disregard this one if you don’t want to be married. If you do, however, you can be sure that a spouse will not fall through the ceiling into your lap. (If they did, go back to number 4.) To find a spouse, you need to be where future spouses are – see also number 7. (Proverbs 18:22)

wo Essential Questions For Christian Dating Couples

A lot of people have the tendency to think a Christian dating relationship is dull or lacks adventure.
And while there may be plenty of examples to feed the stereotype, this doesn’t mean that your life needs to be this way.
If you’re under the impression that Jesus wants you to conform to some ridiculous mold that sucks the fun out of your dating life, it’s time to rethink who Jesus is and start to form a renewed mindset about what His desires are for your life.
He wants you to enjoy dating to the fullest, and He wants you to begin to lay the foundational groundwork now so you can build upon it as time moves forward in your dating relationship.
Shaping that foundation is critical, here are two helpful questions we should ask ourselves before a relationship spontaneously begins to grow.

Are you going in the same direction?

If the person you are dating seems to be going in a different direction than you in any regard, time can pass in the beginning where you are able to ignore it, but as the differences become more obvious or glaring, eventually the tension begins to dramatically increase. And the further apart you are when the breakup happens, the more painful it will be because you’ve been together longer.
“Are we going in the same direction?” is an extremely important question to ask. When you are dating someone, this is one of the first things you want to consider. You’ll avoid a lot of future pain if you’re honest enough to address the potential relationship-ending issues now rather than later.
Of course, this is especially important in the spiritual aspect of your relationship. I have known and talked with many people who have compromised and decided to settle for someone who just isn’t on the same level as they are in their walk with God, and time and time again, it has been a recipe for a relationship disaster. Sadly, Christians are consistently guilty of compromise in this area.
Regardless of the situation, when a Christian compromises, and settles for someone who doesn’t have a passion for Jesus, tough spiritual times lay ahead. If they are going in opposite spiritual directions, it can be very harmful/hurtful to both parties involved if it’s not addressed early on.
A Christian who desires a healthy, fruitful relationship with God has no business dating someone who doesn’t care about following Christ wholeheartedly.

Are there godly people around you?

The Christian life is always meant to be experienced in the context of community and fellowship with other believers, and a couple should never date in isolation.
When we begin to separate ourselves or break away from the pack, so to speak, a number of bad consequences start to creep into our lives. Our three enemies: the world, the sinful nature or “flesh,” and the Devil, can easily gain a foothold and influence our decision making in a negative way.
However, if we proactively involve other caring believers in our lives, they are often able to spot areas where we might be prone to compromise and succumb to temptation.
For dating couples, the urge to isolate frequently rises up and it can be tempting to cut other people out, but it’s never a good idea to pursue seclusion when you’re dating someone. Removing other important friends or family members from your romantic endeavors propagates all kinds of sinful stuff.
You need godly people in your life to give you balance and perspective. You need input from individuals who are wiser than you. If you want your relationship to experience health on every level, you cannot date in a vacuum, devoid of others.
I’m not saying that your dating relationship is, in fact, everyone else’s business to the point that too many people are giving you unsolicited advice on every tiny detail of your life. That would be extreme. I’m saying that you should involve the godly people you trust the most. The kind of folks who will ask you the tough questions about maintaining the spiritual health of your relationship.
Men should be asked if they are leading their girlfriend toward Jesus, and serving her sacrificially. Women should be asked if they are pointing their boyfriend toward Christ, and encouraging him to be in love with his Savior.
Without these kinds of questions, motivations start to slip, guards come down, and the hypnotizing lure of sin can quickly creep in and poison a godly dating relationship.
A couple in isolation is a couple in danger, so surround yourselves with godly men and women who care about you and care about Jesus.
If you do, you’ll be laying the right kind of building blocks that shape a foundation, bringing honor to the Lord.
Check out other resources on dating.

Are you going in the same direction?

Are there godly people around you?

Life & Relationships

“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.”

-Ephesians 4:2-3

Does God Exist? Straight-Forward Reasons

Just once wouldn’t you love for someone to simply show you the evidence for God’s existence? No arm-twisting. No statements of, “You just have to believe.”
Here's some reasons that suggests God exists:
Consider this, if a person opposes the possibility of a God, then any evidence can be rationalized or explained away. It's like someone refusing to believe people have walked on the moon. No amount of information is going to change their thinking. Photographs of astronauts walking on the moon, interviews with the astronauts, moon rocks - all the evidence would be worthless because the person has already decided people cannot go to the moon.
When it comes to the possibility of God’s existence, the Bible says there are people who have seen sufficient evidence, but they have suppressed the truth about God. For those who want to know God, he says, “You will seek me and find me; when you seek me with all your heart, I will be found by you.”
Before you look at the facts surrounding God’s existence, ask yourself, “If God does exist, would I want to know him?”

The Earth is located the right distance from the sun. Consider the temperature swings we encounter, roughly -30 degrees to +120 degrees. If the Earth were any further away from the sun, we would all freeze. Any closer and we would burn up. Even a fractional variance in the Earth’s position to the sun would make life on Earth impossible. The Earth remains this perfect distance from the sun while it rotates around the sun at a speed of nearly 67,000 mph. It is also rotating on its axis, allowing the entire surface of the Earth to be properly warmed and cooled every day.
And our moon is the perfect size and distance from the Earth for its gravitational pull. The moon creates important ocean tides and movement so ocean waters do not stagnate, and yet our massive oceans are restrained from spilling over across the continents.
WATER
Water is colorless, odorless and without taste, and yet no living thing can survive without water. Plants, animals and human beings consist mostly of water (about two-thirds of the human body is water). You’ll see why the characteristics of water are uniquely suited to life:
It has an unusually high boiling point and freezing point. Water allows us to live in an environment of fluctuating temperature changes, while keeping our bodies a steady 98.6 degrees.
Water is a universal solvent. This property of water means that thousands of chemicals, minerals and nutrients can be carried throughout our bodies and into the smallest blood vessels.5
Water is also chemically neutral. Without affecting the makeup of the substances it carries, water enables food, medicines and minerals to be absorbed and used by the body.
Water has a unique surface tension. Water in plants can therefore flow upward against gravity, bringing life-giving water and nutrients to the top of even the tallest trees.
Water freezes from the top down and floats, so fish can live in the winter.
Ninety-seven percent of the Earth’s water is in the oceans. But on our Earth, there is a system designed which removes salt from the water and then distributes that water throughout the globe. Evaporation takes the ocean waters, leaving the salt, and forms clouds which are easily moved by the wind to disperse water over the land, for vegetation, animals and people. It is a system of purification and supply that sustains life on this planet, a system of recycled and reused water.6
The HUMAN BRAIN
The human brain simultaneously processes an amazing amount of information. Your brain takes in all the colors and objects you see, the temperature around you, the pressure of your feet against the floor, the sounds around you, the dryness of your mouth, even the texture of your keyboard. Your brain holds and processes all your emotions, thoughts and memories. At the same time your brain keeps track of the ongoing functions of your body like your breathing pattern, eyelid movement, hunger and movement of the muscles in your hands.
The human brain processes more than a million messages a second.7 Your brain weighs the importance of all this data, filtering out the relatively unimportant. This screening function is what allows you to focus and operate effectively in your world. The brain functions differently than other organs. There is an intelligence to it, the ability to reason, to produce feelings, to dream and plan, to take action, and relate to other people.
The HUMAN EYE
The eye can distinguish among seven million colors. It has automatic focusing and handles an astounding 1.5 million messages – simultaneously.8 Evolution focuses on mutations and changes from and within existing organisms. Yet evolution alone does not fully explain the initial source of the eye or the brain – the start of living organisms from nonliving matter.

The universe had a start, so what caused it? Scientists are convinced that our universe began with one enormous explosion of energy and light, which we now call the Big Bang. This was the singular start to everything that exists: the beginning of the universe, the start of space, and even the initial start of time itself.
Astrophysicist Robert Jastrow, a self-described agnostic, stated, “The seed of everything that has happened in the Universe was planted in that first instant; every star, every planet and every living creature in the Universe came into being as a result of events that were set in motion in the moment of the cosmic explosion…The Universe flashed into being, and we cannot find out what caused that to happen.”9 Steven Weinberg, a Nobel laureate in Physics, said at the moment of this explosion, “the universe was about a hundred thousands million degrees Centigrade…and the universe was filled with light.”10
The universe has not always existed. It had a start… what caused that? Scientists have no explanation for the sudden explosion of light and matter.

Talking About Hell With Someone You Care About

God was always a touchy subject with my friend.
Talking to him about my faith was never simple. But I never felt like I was standing in a minefield until the day he asked me the question.
“So, what you’re saying is that if I don’t believe this, I’m going to hell?” my friend asked, barely able to look me in the eyes.
I paused. I had explained that I believed Jesus was the only way into God’s presence. I believed that the definition of hell was being outside of the presence of God, forever. I felt stuck.
“Yes,” I responded in tears.
We’d been talking for hours about his background, and his objections to the Christian faith. I tried just listening, asking questions so I could understand him better. But this question changed the conversation.

I can’t forget the look of anger on his face, fueled by pain. The friend he trusted had just placed him under the ultimate judgment.

Eight years later, I’ve discovered ways to respond that I wish I’d known then. But the topic of hell never gets easier, especially with people we’re close to.
By the world’s standards the Christian view of hell is narrow and judgmental. And Christians can be so caught up in having correct doctrine, that we become detached and unsympathetic when talking about other people’s eternal destiny.
Is there a way for Christians to avoid shying away from the question of hell without seeming uncaring?

Does anyone deserve to go to hell?

To understand hell requires understanding sin. Sin isn’t just doing something wrong. Sin is what separates us from God, the source of all good things.
Sin is ascribing more value to anything in our life than we do to God. When we do that we become slaves to those things. Sin is the ultimate form of slavery.
Pastor and author Timothy Keller writes, “Every person, religious or not, is worshiping something – idols, pseudo-saviors – to get their worth. But these things enslave us with guilt (if we fail to attain them) or anger (if someone blocks them from us) or fear (if they are threatened) or driven-ness (since we must have them).”

Guilt, anger, and fear are like fire that destroys us. Hell is being left to struggle with those things alone, forever.

Explaining Hell

The Bible clearly outlines how broken humanity is apart from God. In Romans chapter 1, Paul writes that God “gave them up to…their desires.” Keller elaborates, “All God does in the end with people is give them what they most want, including freedom from Himself.” Either we choose God and give our lives to Him, or we choose a life apart from Him, and he honors that choice for eternity.

So is God a loving father or a judge?

In a sense, He’s both.
When someone says that they can’t believe a God of love would send people to hell, they probably have a one dimensional view of love. But think of any loving parent and you see a more complex picture.
Love means to adore someone, to forgive, and to be patient when wronged. God does these things with us. But offering correction or discipline is also loving. A parent often teaches a child right from wrong by demonstrating the consequences of making poor choices. The parent “judges” the actions of the child in order to nurture. So does God.
But God is more than just a parent. He himself is the definition of goodness, and the creator of life. The natural order working as it was designed depends upon our willingness to accept His authority and trust in His total goodness.

We need to let God be God. The alternative is allowing broken humanity to be the ultimate authority over itself. Not a good plan.

When talking to non-believers about the doctrine of hell it’s vital that we speak with truth, but also with compassion, love, and respect. Ultimately our aim is to point people towards Christ, God’s solution to our imperfection. (Read a fuller explanation of how Jesus saves us from hell.)
So how can we go about difficult conversations in a loving way?

Ask the right questions

Let’s return to that moment in the minefield with my friend. He asked me if I thought he was going to hell, but what was he really asking me?
Was he asking me if I worshipped a God who judged him or was he asking me whether I was judging him? Given the anger on his face when I answered him, I suspect it was the latter.
You’re not just dodging a bullet by telling your friend that it’s not ultimately about what you think in the end, it’s about what God thinks. You are simply doing your best to help them hear what God would say to them.

We don’t have to be on the defensive. Find out why your friend is asking you about something you believe, and ask them how your explanations sound to them.

What does your friend think you are saying? Are they correct?
If someone expresses anger or frustration, there’s likely pain in their life causing them to distrust God or Christians.
That conversation with my friend was one of the last times we ever talked deeply about our beliefs.
But I’ve never forgotten being asked that question.
It drove my desire to focus on knowing what I truly believed and why I believed it.
Some useful resources to help you talk about your Christian faith:

10 Reasons You’re Not Reading the Bible

When I ask people if they’ve read the Bible, the answer is usually no. Yet when I ask if they know what it says, the answer is usually yes.
When I ask why they don’t read the Bible, I commonly hear the same barriers. I’d like to refute the top 10 reasons I hear most often.

1. I'm not religious.

The Bible is the best-selling book of all time. Jesus has been hailed by secular sources as the most influential person to ever walk the earth. Most people, even those who don't worship God, agree that Jesus was a good person with a message of love that changed humanity – so much so that the world divides the measurement of time based on HIS life.

2. The Bible is for white Americans.

The Bible has full translations in 531 languages and has portions translated in 2,883 languages. It is read by people-groups and cultures around the world. It's the only book that has such staggering cross-cultural popularity. No wonder Jesus is referred to as a “healer of all nations” in Revelation 22:2.

3. I can't get past Genesis.

Anglo-saxons, or Westerners, are the biggest culprit of this because they think linearly. They open the Bible at the beginning, go through it chronologically, and somewhere after Moses get confused and stop reading.
Other cultures, most actually, think differently than Westerners. They look at text circularly or thematically. I recommend to a reader from any culture to start in the book of John. It's not too long, you'll find information about the ages including stories of Jesus and it says a lot about the true meaning of love.
For the remainder, you can find multiple reading plans online in your style, pace and desired translation.

4. It's boring.

How can an ancient text compete with today's short attention spans? What if you didn’t look at this as an old writing, but rather as a love letter to you from God. He wants to reveal Himself to you, yes you, and this is the information He has chosen to bring to you. If someone else, anyone else, wrote you a love letter, would you put it aside because it was "boring?"
A modern language translation can help you pay attention. Also try journaling a chapter at a time and reflect upon these universal questions: What does this passage say about the nature of God? What does it say about the nature of people? What are five things I can be thankful for in this passage? You can use the free app in any translation on your phone.

5. I can't understand it

It's a ministry of the Holy Spirit to guide you into truth and help you understand. It's clear throughout the Bible that God does not withhold his Spirit. All you need to do is ask God to give you understanding. The Bible itself instructs this very thing (Ephesians 1:13).
If you're not certain that you know Christ, read here.
The Bible advises in Hebrew 10:25 to meet together with other believers for mutual encouragement and understanding. Have you considered joining a group study? You also can have the benefit of wise counsel in private by using a Study Bible.

6. The Bible is full of errors.

This common misconception has been propagated by non-scholars who want to deny the Bible's authority. The Bible's margin of error is less than 1 percent, and in that small percentage the inaccuracies are a difference in minor prepositions. None of the 1 percent gives any confusion to the meaning of the text. An example would be like re-reading my previous sentence as, "None in the 1 percent gives any confusion to the meaning of the text." In fact, the more that has been discovered in history and archaeology, the more continues to prove the accuracy of the Bible, which scripture actually says of itself, "Every word of God proves true." Proverbs 30:5

7. I don't have time.

I've got a busy schedule too. I understand adding something to an already full plate is sometimes not feasible. There are audio versions of the Bible. A wise friend of mine says, "Everyone has time to read 10 minutes a day."
If you say that you can't set aside 10 minutes, then the issue isn't really a matter of time, but of desire.

8. The Bible doesn't work for me.

Have you experienced disappointment? Maybe you're feeling as if you've been let down by God? Maybe you're unemployed, lonely or suffering?
Can I tell you what words the Bible says about this very thing? If you're hurting, then God is inviting you to come to Him. If you read the Psalms, you will find people who have poured out their hearts to God, who have gone through tremendous suffering and in His presence have found hope.
Not sure how to start? Read the psalms. Start with Psalm 1 and read one each day.

9. The Bible is outdated.

The Bible spans all of human history from the creation of the world to eternity. Some are rules God gave to a specific group of people during a specific time, but that doesn't mean it's not beneficial to know.
When you read in the New Testament that "Jesus sets us free" you may ask, "Free from what?" If you read the whole thing, you will know with clarity.
Some of the stories are universal – they are meant for all people in all times, but they contain cultural nuances from when they were written. The better we understand the setting, the better we can appreciate the story.

10. I just don't want to.

You are missing out on the single most rewarding piece of humanity – your ability to connect your soul to God. Yes, we human beings can accomplish a lot on our own. We can dig deep and find strength. But there is something even richer.
Your soul ponders things like, "Is there more?” “What's the point? and “Why?" These answers are found in the Bible. Your soul longs for completion, unconditional love, and peace.

Initiative Evangelism: What Does the Bible Say?

What does the Bible say about initiative evangelism? Why should we go to people and offer them the Gospel? As we look at Scripture and the example of Jesus, we find at least five compelling reasons.
1. Jesus took the initiative to come to us. Jesus came to “seek and save” the lost We do not seek God according to Romans 3:10-12. God has always been the one pursuing us. During His life, Jesus was continually pursuing people and speaking with them about the Kingdom. Jesus also sent His disciples out two-by- two, from village to village to proclaim the kingdom. (Luke 9:1-6 & Luke 10: 1-11)
2. Jesus commanded us to go and take the gospel to all peoples. Read Mark 16:15 and John 20:21 – just as the Father sent Jesus into the world to pursue people, so He has sent us.
3. The example of the apostles and the early church. As you read through the book of Acts, it is quite clear that the apostles and other leaders in the church were continually going to people and not waiting for people to come to them – some of the many examples in Acts:

Acts 5:42 in the temple and from house to house
Acts 8:4-13 Phillip to Samaria
Acts 10 Peter to the Gentiles
Acts 13-21 Paul’s 3 missionary journeys

4. People cannot and will not hear unless we go to them. Read Romans 10:13-15. some people do not have an existing relationship with someone who can explain to them the gospel – both individuals here on campus and entire people groups overseas. The Gospel cannot spread relationally for some, because there is no relationship unless someone goes and establishes one.

5. God is preparing the hearts of people to hear the Good news. There are some who are ready and want to know, and all we have to do is be willing to be used.
ACTS 8:25-40
Take a moment to read Acts 8:25-40 below:

“When they had testified and proclaimed the word of the Lord, Peter and John returned to Jerusalem, preaching the gospel in many Samaritan villages.
Now an angel of the Lord said to Philip, “Go south to the road – the desert road – that goes down from Jerusalem to Gaza.” So he started out, and on his way he met an Ethiopian eunuch, an important official in charge of all the treasury of Candace, queen of the Ethiopians. This man had gone to Jerusalem to worship, and on his way home was sitting in his chariot reading the book of Isaiah the prophet. The Spirit told Philip, “Go to that chariot and stay near it.”
Then Philip ran up to the chariot and heard the man reading Isaiah the prophet. “Do you understand what you are reading?” Philip asked.
“How can I,” he said, “unless someone explains it to me?” So he invited Philip to come up and sit with him.
The eunuch was reading this passage of Scripture: “He was led like a sheep to the slaughter, and as a lamb before the shearer is silent, so he did not open his mouth. In his humiliation he was deprived of justice. Who can speak of his descendants? For his life was taken from the earth.”

The eunuch asked Philip, “Tell me, please, who is the prophet talking about, himself or someone else?”Then Philip began with that very passage of Scripture and told him the good news about Jesus.
As they traveled along the road, they came to some water and the eunuch said, “Look, here is water. Why shouldn’t I be baptized?” And he gave orders to stop the chariot. Then both Philip and the eunuch went down into the water and Philip baptized him. When they came up out of the water, the Spirit of the Lord suddenly took Philip away, and the eunuch did not see him again, but went on his way rejoicing. Philip, however, appeared at Azotus and traveled about, preaching the gospel in all the towns until he reached Caesarea.”

There’s a lot thoughts and concepts in there but some of what should be observed are the following:

Phillip was already having a successful ministry where he was.
The Lord led Phillip to a specific place.
He finds a person of significant influence – the first black man to hear the Gospel, treasurer in the court of the Queen.
The eunuch’s heart is already prepared – a Jewish proselyte, reading Isaiah.
The Spirit’s role in leading Phillip (we need to walk in the Spirit continuously and be sensitive to His leading).
Phillip’s obedience to go up to a total stranger – why might have this been something he could have hesitated to do?
The need for someone to explain the Gospel to him.
Phillip “opened his mouth” – a key principle in witnessing !
The eunuch believes at the hearing of the Word and expresses his faith.
The Spirit takes Phillip away indicating that the Lord is going to take care of the eunuch’s follow up (usually we can follow up a person and should but sometimes we can’t and that is OK – the Lord will take care of them).
It is believed that this eunuch was the one to take the Gospel to N. Africa to begin the church there.

10 Things You Should Know about Evangelism

There are so many ways to go wrong in evangelism—impulses of fear on the one side, vain ambition on the other—that if we do not nail down a truly biblical understanding, we will quickly veer off course. So we start by understanding that biblical evangelism is teaching the gospel with the aim to persuade.

2. Evangelism is often the label given to things that are not evangelism.

Is sharing your testimony evangelism? Is defending the Christian faith evangelism? How about doing good deeds for the oppressed? Certainly those are good things that serve and support evangelism. But they are not evangelism itself. We must not confuse the gospel with the fruit of the gospel.

3. Evangelism entails teaching the gospel first and foremost.

God teaches us the gospel through his Word; we can't just "figure it out" on our own. So it stands to reason that we must speak and teach the gospel to others: the truth about who God is, why we're in the mess we're in, what Jesus came to do, and how we are to respond to him. It’s no wonder that Paul often described his evangelistic ministry as a teaching ministry.

4. Evangelism aims to persuade.

We want to see people move from darkness to light. Having that aim helps us know what things to talk about and what things to lay aside. Evangelism isn't just data transfer; we must listen to people, hear their objections, and model gentleness because we know that souls are at stake. And we know what it means to truly convert: a true Christian has put his complete faith and trust in Jesus, so much so that he has repented of a lifestyle of unbelief and sin. Understanding this guards us from false conversions, which are the assisted suicide of the church.

5. Evangelism flourishes in a culture of evangelism.

Much instruction is given about personal evangelism. And that’s right and good since we're each called to testify to our own personal encounter with Jesus. But when people are pulling together to share the gospel, when there is less emphasis on getting “a decision,” when the people of God are pitching in to teach the gospel together, a culture forms that leads us to ask "Are we all helping our non-Christian friends understand the gospel?" rather than "Who has led the most people to Jesus?"

6. Evangelistic programs will kill evangelism.

We need to replace evangelistic programs with a culture of evangelism. Programs are to evangelism what sugar is to nutrition: a strict diet of evangelistic programs produces malnourished evangelism. So, we should feel a healthy unease with regard to evangelistic programs. We must use them strategically and in moderation, if at all.

7. Evangelism is designed for the church and the church is designed for evangelism.

A healthy church with a culture of evangelism is the key to great evangelism. Jesus did not forget the gospel when he built his church; in fact, a healthy church is meant to display the gospel. Think of the ways that the gathered church displays the gospel: we sing the gospel, we see the gospel in the sacraments, and we hear the gospel when we preach and pray. A healthy culture of evangelism does not aim at remaking the church for the sake of evangelism. Instead, we must highlight the way God designed the church to display and proclaim the gospel simply by being the church.

8. Evangelism is undergirded by love and unity.

Jesus said, “By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another” (John 13:35). In that same discourse, he prayed that his disciples would be unified “so that the world may believe that you have sent me” (John 17:20–21). Jesus says the love we have for one another in the church is evidence that we are truly converted. And when we are unified in the church, we show the world that Jesus is the Son of God. Love confirms our discipleship, and unity confirms Christ’s deity. What a powerful witness!

9. A culture of evangelism is strengthened by right practices and right attitudes.

We need to make sure that we see evangelism as a spiritual discipline. Just as we pray for our non-Christian friends, we must be intentional about sharing our faith with them. Furthermore, we must never assume the gospel in conversations with non-Christians lest we lose it. We need to view the gospel as the center of how we align our lives to God as well as come to God in salvation.

10. Evangelism must be modeled.

One of the greatest needs in our churches today is for church leaders to boldly model what it means to be an ambassador of the gospel. Pastors and elders must lead the way in sharing their faith, teaching others how to be ambassadors for Christ, and calling their congregations to do the same.

1. Our evangelistic efforts must stem from a biblical understanding of evangelism.
There are so many ways to go wrong in evangelism—impulses of fear on the one side, vain ambition on the other—that if we do not nail down a truly biblical understanding, we will quickly veer off course. So we start by understanding that biblical evangelism is teaching the gospel with the aim to persuade.

2. Evangelism is often the label given to things that are not evangelism.

3. Evangelism entails teaching the gospel first and foremost.

4. Evangelism aims to persuade.

5. Evangelism flourishes in a culture of evangelism.

6. Evangelistic programs will kill evangelism.

7. Evangelism is designed for the church and the church is designed for evangelism.

8. Evangelism is undergirded by love and unity.

9. A culture of evangelism is strengthened by right practices and right attitudes.

10. Evangelism must be modeled.

1. Our evangelistic efforts must stem from a biblical understanding of evangelism.

2. Evangelism is often the label given to things that are not evangelism.

3. Evangelism entails teaching the gospel first and foremost.

4. Evangelism aims to persuade.

5. Evangelism flourishes in a culture of evangelism.

6. Evangelistic programs will kill evangelism.

7. Evangelism is designed for the church and the church is designed for evangelism.

8. Evangelism is undergirded by love and unity.

9. A culture of evangelism is strengthened by right practices and right attitudes.

10. Evangelism must be modeled.

This is a guest post by Mack Stiles, author of Evangelism: How the Whole Church Speaks of Jesus. This post is part of our 10 Things You Should Know blog series.

1. Our evangelistic efforts must stem from a biblical understanding of evangelism.

2. Evangelism is often the label given to things that are not evangelism.

3. Evangelism entails teaching the gospel first and foremost.

4. Evangelism aims to persuade.

5. Evangelism flourishes in a culture of evangelism.

6. Evangelistic programs will kill evangelism.

7. Evangelism is designed for the church and the church is designed for evangelism.

8. Evangelism is undergirded by love and unity.

9. A culture of evangelism is strengthened by right practices and right attitudes.

10. Evangelism must be modeled.

This is a guest post by Mack Stiles, author of Evangelism: How the Whole Church Speaks of Jesus. This post is part of our 10 Things You Should Know blog series.

1. Our evangelistic efforts must stem from a biblical understanding of evangelism.

2. Evangelism is often the label given to things that are not evangelism.

3. Evangelism entails teaching the gospel first and foremost.

4. Evangelism aims to persuade.

5. Evangelism flourishes in a culture of evangelism.

6. Evangelistic programs will kill evangelism.

7. Evangelism is designed for the church and the church is designed for evangelism.

8. Evangelism is undergirded by love and unity.

9. A culture of evangelism is strengthened by right practices and right attitudes.

10. Evangelism must be modeled.

Evangelism

Evangelism is the preaching of the gospel with the intention of exposing God's love to all mankind through Jesus Christ.
Christians who specialize in evangelism are often known as evangelists, whether they are in their home communities or living as missionaries in the field, although some Christian traditions refer to such people as missionaries in either case. Some Christian traditions consider evangelists to be in a leadership position; they may be found preaching to large meetings or in governance roles.
Christian groups who encourage evangelism are sometimes known as evangelistic or evangelist. The scriptures do not use the word evangelism, but evangelist is used in (the translations of) Acts 21:8, Ephesians 4:11, and 2 Timothy 4:5The word "evangelist" comes from the Koine Greek word εὐαγγέλιον (transliterated as euangelion) via Latinised evangelium as used in the canonical titles of the Four Gospels, authored by (or attributed to) Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John (also known as the Four Evangelists). The Greek word εὐαγγέλιον originally meant a reward given to the messenger for good news (εὔ = "good", ἀγγέλλω = "I bring a message"; the word "angel" comes from the same root) and later "good news" itself.
The verb form of euangelion,^[1] (translated as "evangelism"), occurs rarely in older Greek literature outside the New Testament, making its meaning more difficult to ascertain. Parallel texts of the Gospels of Luke and Mark reveal a synonymous relationship between the verb euangelizo (εὑαγγελίζω) and a Greek verb kerusso (κηρύσσω), which means "to proclaim"

While evangelism is usually regarded as converting non-Christians to Christianity, this is not always the proper usage of the word. If converting to Christianity includes services or material benefits, evangelism is called proselytism.^{[citation needed]} Different denominations follow different theological interpretations which reflect upon the point of who is doing the actual conversion, whether the evangelist or the Holy Spirit or both. Calvinists, for example, believe the soul is converted only if the Holy Spirit is effective in the act.^[3]
Catholic missionary work in Russia is commonly seen as evangelism, not proselytism. Archbishop Kondrusiewicz openly stated, "that proselytism is absolutely unacceptable and cannot constitute a strategy for the development of our structures either in Russia or in any other country in the world".^[4] Especially regarding claims by the Orthodox church that spreading the faith and receiving converts amounts to proselytism,^[5] the Catholic Church's Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith issued a document called "Doctrinal Note on some Aspects of Evangelization"^[6] which states that evangelism is "an inalienable right and duty, an expression of religious liberty ...", and added, "The incorporation of new members into the Church is not the expansion of a power group, but rather entrance into the network of friendship with Christ which connects heaven and earth, different continents and age. It is entrance into the gift of communion with Christ...."

In recent history, certain Bible passages have been used to promote evangelism. William Carey, in a book entitled, 'An Enquiry into the Obligations of Christians to Use Means for the Conversion of the Heathens' popularised a quotation, where, according to the Bible, during his last days on earth Jesus commanded his eleven disciples (the apostles) as follows:

Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.

— Matthew 28:19,20 NIV

However, recent scholarship by Chris Wright and others has suggested that such activity is promoted by the entire Bible, or at least the wider term 'mission', although the meaning of the word 'mission' and its relationship to 'evangelism' is disputed amongst Christians.

Modern methods

Evangelism in Vienna - Westbahonhof

Breaking from tradition and going beyond television and radio a wide range of methods have been developed to reach people not inclined to attend traditional events in churches or revival meetings.
Dramas such as Heaven's Gates, Hell's Flames have gained enormous popularity since the 1980s. These dramas typically depict fictional characters who die and learn whether they will go to heaven or hell.
The child evangelism movement is a Christian evangelism movement that originated in the 20th century. It focuses on the 4/14 Window which centers on evangelizing children between the ages of 4 and 14 years old.^[7]
Beginning in the 1970s, a group of Christian athletes known as The Power Team spawned an entire genre of Christian entertainment based on strong-man exploits mixed with a Christian message and usually accompanied by an opportunity to respond with a prayer for salvation.^[8]
Other entertainment-based Christian evangelism events include comedy, live theater and music.
The Christian music industry has also played a significant role in modern evangelism. Rock (and other genres) concerts in which the artist(s) exhort non-believing attendees to pray a prayer for salvation have become common, and just as common are concerts that are focused on activity not necessarily on prayer and conversion, thus forming an environment that is not driven by conversion, but instead relaying of a message.
Evangelists such as Reinhard Bonnke conduct mass evangelistic crusades around the world. Hundreds of church denominations and organizations participate in an evangelism movement known as the Billion Soul Harvest, which is a comprehensive initiative to convert a billion people to Christianity.

Evangelists

Billy Graham in Düsseldorf (1954)

Sometimes, the regular minister of a church is called a preacher in a way that other groups would typically use the term pastor. The evangelist in some churches is one that travels from town to town and from church to church, spreading the gospel of Jesus Christ. Many Christians of various theological perspectives would call themselves "evangelists" because they are spreaders of the gospel. Many churches believe one of their major functions is to function as evangelists to spread the evangelist belief that Jesus is savior of humanity.
The title of evangelist is often associated with those who lead large meetings like those of Billy Graham, Luis Palau^[9] and J.A. Pérez^[10] possibly in tents or existing church buildings, or those who address the public in street corner preaching, which targets listeners who happen to pass nearby. It can also be done in small groups or even on a one-to-one basis, but actually it is simply one who spreads the gospel. Increasingly, the internet enables anyone to become an Internet evangelist.